Is There a Right Time to File Divorce?

Every couple experiences marital problems at some point — it’s inevitable. When the marital problems become too great to overcome, divorce may be an option. The question all too many couples face, however, is whether or not there is a right time to file divorce. There are so many factors to consider, and some would say that too many couples turn to this option too quickly. Here are a number of factors every couple should consider when determining if divorce is the right option, and what you can do after you decide.

Do You Want a Divorce or a Better Marriage?

This is the basic question you have to answer. Are your problems really so bad they cannot be overcome?  Have you fallen out of love with your partner? Can you no longer envision a future together? Or, rather, do you just want a better marriage with this person? Many couples turn to divorce when they’re actually just going through ordinary rough patches that with time, work and effort can be overcome.

Have You Exhausted Other Possibilities?

Have you really tried sitting down and working out your problems with your spouse? Sometimes this does not mean just talking between the two of you. There are some barriers that cannot be overcome without help. Seeing a marriage counselor can save many relationships. Remember that you made a vow at your wedding to fight through the toughest times together. Have you done so?

If you choose a counselor who tells you that your marriage is beyond help, it might be time to seek a second opinion. You want a therapist who is going to be committed to helping you work past all of those hard barriers and rebuild the lost love and trust.

Are External Factors at Fault?

We all live with heavy stress every day. Every couple goes through times where they have to be strong for one another, but what happens when both partners are under heavy stress at work or in life and neither can be strong at this point? The relationship can be stretched to the breaking point.

It’s important to try to recognize these problems and understand that maybe you are not at fault for the problems. Maybe the issue is just life, and by taking the time to help each other work through stressors, you can help yourself get through your own. If need be, seek outside help on an individual basis to allow you to devote personal time back into your relationship.

Placing Blame

It can be very tempting when problems arise to blame your partner, but just as success comes as a team, so do problems. Look at yourself and your own role in the issues you may be experiencing. Can you make changes to make things easier on the relationship? Are you taking your spouse for granted, or are you dismissive on some level of the way they feel? Being self-aware is one of the key factors in saving a strained relationship.

The Sexual Question

Sex is at the forefront of many marital issues, and it can also be one of the most difficult and awkward issues to address. Are you sexually incompatible with your partner? Do you want something they are not, or cannot deliver? Understand that there is no such thing as a couple that is 100% compatible sexually. The key is finding a middle ground where both partners can be satisfied with the intimacy they are getting from the relationship. As with many other marital problems, if you cannot overcome this on your own, there are professional counselors out there who may be able to assist.

Attractions to Others

Have you become attracted to someone else, through flirtation, an online relationship or a physical affair? This can cast doubts on even the strongest relationship. We all become attracted to people at one point or another, but how (or if) you react to those feelings is important. While the excitement and thrill of a new attraction is a serious rush, an affair can utterly devastate the trust that is so central to a relationship.

This can be one of the biggest destroyers of a relationship. Before you act on an attraction to someone else, take some time to sit down and give some deep thought as to the reasons behind this attraction. Is it a basic thrill, or have you truly fallen out of love with your spouse?

What to Do

If you have considered all the options and decided that your relationship is truly at an impasse, a Mt. Pleasant divorce attorney can help. You may need strong representation and a confidante and ally to make sure that the division of property is fair and equitable, and that your split goes as cleanly as possible. For a consultation or more information about our family law services, get in touch with us today.